If I had balls they'd be shrivelled up inside of me it's so fucking cold in here. Tonight we're supposed to be getting snow, but it shouldn't be snowing in my bedroom! I know, I know. Get off my ass and go turn up the heat. I'm going to have to, I suppose. I'm losing feeling in my pretty little fingers.

What do I have to contribute to the world at large? Well, I've been trudging along through the muck I need to accomplish before christmas. What did I call it again? Ah yes, my christmas crush. I've got quite a list of things left to do, although I feel better about it now that I've finished so much. I leave on Tuesday for a week in Tennesse before carrying on to Wisconsin, and eventually Michigan. I think I'm comma happy or something. I use commas extensively. I need to fix that habit. Anyways, I spend christmas there, and then back to Wisconsin, on to Tennesse for new years, and eventually back home. That's a lot of driving and a long ass trip. But I'm in the mood for adventure. Let's all pray I make it alright.
My writing, you ask? What have I written? Absolutely nothing. GASP! For my nephew's book I've moved past the writing into the illustrating. It will be done. At least part of it. Another thing to work my ass off for. I thought this was the season of joy and giving. Since when is it the season of killing yourself to give to others? And where's the joy? I suppose that'll come around christmas.
I'm trying to remember to be optimistic. I have the habit of being pessisimistic. Follow me on this one...I feel like if I'm pessimistic about things, then the opposite of what I think will happen, will happen. Therefore, if I think bad things will happen ,good things will happen because I was thinking bad things. Don't laugh, I actually beleive this. So I'm trying to break myself of this nasty little thought pattern.
My entire life I've had wierd phobias and paranioas that make the 'good things happen because I have bad thoughts' one pale in comparison. Just a taste...when I was younger I had to hold my breath whenever the toilet flushed, I had to close the lid before it flushed, and if I couldn't I had to run like hell before it went all the way down. If I didn't do that...something bad (I can't remember what) would happen. I used to think weird shit, like if I breathed in while looking at someone or something I didn't like, I'd take on some quality of theirs. Hey, trust me, I know. I'm odd. But at least this gives you some backstory to my whole 'bad thoughts/good things' thing. Okay enough self-effication. I'm off. Happy Holidays, Peace and Love, Sunshine and Smiles!!!