If I had balls they'd be shrivelled up inside of me it's so fucking cold in here. Tonight we're supposed to be getting snow, but it shouldn't be snowing in my bedroom! I know, I know. Get off my ass and go turn up the heat. I'm going to have to, I suppose. I'm losing feeling in my pretty little fingers.

What do I have to contribute to the world at large? Well, I've been trudging along through the muck I need to accomplish before christmas. What did I call it again? Ah yes, my christmas crush. I've got quite a list of things left to do, although I feel better about it now that I've finished so much. I leave on Tuesday for a week in Tennesse before carrying on to Wisconsin, and eventually Michigan. I think I'm comma happy or something. I use commas extensively. I need to fix that habit. Anyways, I spend christmas there, and then back to Wisconsin, on to Tennesse for new years, and eventually back home. That's a lot of driving and a long ass trip. But I'm in the mood for adventure. Let's all pray I make it alright.
My writing, you ask? What have I written? Absolutely nothing. GASP! For my nephew's book I've moved past the writing into the illustrating. It will be done. At least part of it. Another thing to work my ass off for. I thought this was the season of joy and giving. Since when is it the season of killing yourself to give to others? And where's the joy? I suppose that'll come around christmas.
I'm trying to remember to be optimistic. I have the habit of being pessisimistic. Follow me on this one...I feel like if I'm pessimistic about things, then the opposite of what I think will happen, will happen. Therefore, if I think bad things will happen ,good things will happen because I was thinking bad things. Don't laugh, I actually beleive this. So I'm trying to break myself of this nasty little thought pattern.
My entire life I've had wierd phobias and paranioas that make the 'good things happen because I have bad thoughts' one pale in comparison. Just a taste...when I was younger I had to hold my breath whenever the toilet flushed, I had to close the lid before it flushed, and if I couldn't I had to run like hell before it went all the way down. If I didn't do that...something bad (I can't remember what) would happen. I used to think weird shit, like if I breathed in while looking at someone or something I didn't like, I'd take on some quality of theirs. Hey, trust me, I know. I'm odd. But at least this gives you some backstory to my whole 'bad thoughts/good things' thing. Okay enough self-effication. I'm off. Happy Holidays, Peace and Love, Sunshine and Smiles!!!

"I'm as happy as a kitten in a tree."

Tonight at 12:14 AM I finished the final version of the reworked outline for my shark novel, Savage Eden. I got 30,000 words into it and had to rework the thing. But now I've finished that, and from here on out it's straight writing. I love it! Yay me!

Yeehaw! I'm making progress on my Christmas Crush. That's my official title for the unbeleivably long list of shit I have to finish before Christmas. Some of it is writing related, some not. For instance, I told myself that I needed to finish my plot revisions for Savage Eden before Christmas. That way I could hit a patch of straight writing for the new year. If you're wondering, I hit a major hiccup in the middle of the story and it made me take the whole thing back to the drawing board. But tomorrow is the deadline I've set for myself and the outline. So mission nearly accomplished. I should get a pip for that. ;) On my personal and Christmas related crush list I've crossed off three whole categories already. So someone pat my freaking back already. I'm busy like a bee, so I apologize to my groupies. I know you're having withdrawals kittens, but I'll be back as soon as I can. And good to my word, I've managed to post to my blog, yet again. I hope you're all in good health and high spirits. Have the best bleeping holiday season you've ever had. Please stay safe and don't drive drunk!

So, I bet you thought I must have died or something, eh? Wondering where I've been? Why I haven't posted? Or did you just assume I was one of those people who got tired of their blog and quit all together? Well shame on you! You aren't getting rid of me that easily. Mwa ha ha ha. For all of you FM Writer folks out there, I wanted to tell everyone that I signed up for Zette's 2 year novel course. I can't wait to get started, I've got this wicked idea. And I'll be writing the last half of Savage Eden at the beginning of next year. So my novel dance card will be full. I've got a few short stories being worked at the moment also. I've got 'The Heart of Amun' still in rewrites. Yikes! And Maakna, version 2, is still in progress. I hit a snag trying to get everything I wanted into the first version. So I'm writing the same story two more times, two different ways. If nothing else it'll help me flush things out a bit. And I can slap the best bits together when I'm through. I've got such class, eh? ;)

"I'm not into beastiality...if I were I'd know how to do that pounding animalistic sex thing."

Don't ask. Just a glimpse into the mind of a dear friend, thought I'd share. And I wasn't even talking about sex! I swear!

Okay, onwards and upwards (out of the gutter). My schedule this month is chaotic. I've put myself on leave from the crit group because I can't get myself around to writing let alone critting. Christmas is fun, but leading up to it sucks a royal fatty. Not only will I be travelling for half the month, but I've got uber amounts of work to do here before I hit the road. I won't bore anyone with the details. You should be thanking me.

I still don't have a job. Have I applied to any? No. Why? My last job sucked so bad I'm scared to death to get back into the work force. But my mother gives me a daily ration of 'you need to get a job.' Like I don't already know. Besides, I don't have the time for a job this month. Too much to do, too much to do.

Another glimpse into the messaging madness:
" Once upon a midnight, dreary. While I pondered, weak and weary. Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore...."
"you pulled and yanked and stroked a fury, on that long and wide man, deary. 'til he 'sploded on my reary. quite a day in crystal yore."

Saved for posteriority. ;) Okay. Enough for now. I'll be back with more info later. Through my madness, I'll try to make a point of blogging routinely for all of you huddled and blind masses.

Soul mates ~ I've always believed in the notion of soul mates. I've always believed that my soul mate is out there, somewhere. Although I haven't always believed I'd find him in this lifetime. What is a soul mate? A soul mate is the one person, cut from the same ilk as you, who could fully understand, appreciate, and cherish all aspects of you. Someone so like yourself that they have the ability to see deeper and clearer into your soul than any other being, save God. A soul mate is someone who's soul used to be joined with yours, who now carries a piece of you around with them. So that when you meet, you recognize that piece, and recognize your partner for who they are. To alleviate any doubts.
How many people find their soul mates? Not many. Consider the 60% divorce rate of today. Why would anyone marry someone they didn't believe was their soul mate? Because people have given up hope. They don't believe anymore. And they've given themselves over so completely to society and it's rules. And those rules lead them away from romantic notions like soul mates. Instead they lead them towards being practical. Rationalizing everything. Monetary values. Making lots of money, buying fancy things, and trying to find their happiness in that. Society has little patience for dreamers. Teachers, artists, writers, and musicians are marginalized. They're not recognized for their worth. People think about soul mates as a fairytale. They've lost their belief in the magic of life. And that's the biggest tragedy of all.
Eventually everyone finds their soul mate. It may take lifetimes, but it's bound to happen. The natural state of those 2 souls is to be together. What do you do when you find them? It's too easy to say you live happily ever after. We've all so thoroughly wrapped ourselves in emotional and social shit, it's bound to be a real effort to try and shovel it out of the way to finally get to one another. It's well worth the effort, the time it takes, and the patience. The fast paced, impatient persona of society today is just one more thing to put aside. You need the peace and quiet for the magic to work. Enjoy the process as much as the destination. As it is in life, it's as equally important in romance.

http://publishersweekly.reviewsnews.com/index.asp?layout=article&articleid=CA327660&display=FeaturesNews&industry=Features&industryid=1803&verticalid=127

This is a very nice article about Peter Straub. I've never read anything of his, but it was an interesting read nevertheless. The article sounds like a hokey fiction novel, with strange characters in a strange world. And there were points when the people seemed almost condescending when they spoke about the author and his career, but it was still insightful and worth the time.

http://publishersweekly.reviewsnews.com/index.asp?layout=article&articleid=CA331735

Most writers don't take the time to look at the publishing industry from the other side of the chute. This was a really interesting article from the printer's point of view, with a lot of information about the publishing industry built in. It's pretty insightful. It all boils down to the bottom line. Money. People aren't making money because of the economy, and aren't buying books. Less books being bought by consumers means less books being bought by publishers from writers, and the ones that are bought are being printed less and offered for shorter periods of time. Ladies and gentlemen, the republicans are in office. What does that mean? The rich keep getting richer, the poor get poorer, and we're all up shit creek. President Bush...sucks to your asmar!

To My Devoted Legions of Fans: heh, yeah right. Just in case anyone was wondering where I've drifted off to, or why I hadn't posted anything real in a while, I thought I'd drop a line here and let everyone know I am in fact alive and kicking. Do to an unimaginably and unexpectedly intense, pleasurable, and ongoing meeting of souls with a nice young man I have been extremely distracted this past month. So distracted, in fact, that I haven't done much writing. *gasp! O_O* That would explain the spewing of words that you're witnessing here. I do plan to regain some semblance of self-control in the coming days, get back to my writing, and in turn start posting here on a more regular basis. We, the nice young man and I, have agreed to stay our nightly meetings to every other night in order to maintain our sanity. Having said all of that, I have nothing particularily interesting to say at the moment. I'll come up with something, and post that a little later. Heh, figures, right? loki loki !!

http://www.canada.com/victoria/news/story.asp?id=03A09842-B2AC-44C9-B225-741BFF84055B

I'm willing to bet that people migrated even earlier than that, but at least it'll have the scientific communities attention.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/10/20/airline.scare/index.html

This kid gets everything they throw at him (if he is, in fact, guilty). I don't care what his excuse for doing it is. He's not improving anything by his act of 'civil disobedience.' He's made himself and his actions a burden upon others. The days of 'I just wanted to test the airline security' have long gone.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/TV/10/20/ple.alda.reut/index.html

Alan Alda is my favorite all-time TV actor. My fingers are crossed and I'm praying for his speedy recovery.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/aids/story/0,7369,1059068,00.html

The Vatican is telling people in 4 continents most at risk for AIDs that condoms won't stop the transmittal of the disease. The medical centers being funded by the catholic church are not allowed to distribute condoms because the church frowns upon it (O_O). Yet the WTO says that condoms are 90% effective against AIDS. The vatican says they're wrong. Sounds like the vatican is shooting itself in the foot. I think there are some things the church is better leaving alone. But I'm not catholic, so don't listen to me.

This study discusses the physiological effects of emotional blows on the brain. Apparently the brain reacts to physical and emotional blows the same way.
http://www.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/10/09/ego.pain.ap/index.html

No jury alive will buy an insanity plea by this kid. None. I'm no expert, but in my studies into psychology (I have a degree in psychology) I've found that it's virtually impossible to successfully plea insanity and get away with it. This guy was never, and is not now, insane according to indroctrination. He's just got a sick sense of reality. He'll end up in prison for the rest of his natural life. And that's exactly where he belongs.
http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/10/09/sniper.malvo/index.html

I don't have an opinion one way or another on this. I hope the guy heals and ends up good as new. Thought I'd put it here for anyone interested in the matter. I do, however, beleive that if the tiger had wanted the guy dead, he'd be dead.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/SHOWBIZ/10/08/siegfried.roy/index.html

Universe finite and patched together like a soccer ball?

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/space/10/09/universe.soccer.ball.reut/index.html

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&postid=4079701#post4079701

The worst things that people did as kids. ROFL. Can you guess which one is my post? Mwa ha ha ha.

*WARNING - ADULT CONTENT*

Bloodhound Gang, "The Bad Touch"

Sweat, baby, sweat baby. Sex is a Texas drought. Me and you do the kind of stuff that only Prince would sing about. So put your hands down my pants, and I bet you'll feel nuts. Yes I'm Siskel, yes I'm Ebert, and you're getting two thumbs up. You've had enough of two hand touch, you want it rough, you're out of bounds. I want you smothered, want you covered like my waffle house hash browns. Coming quicker than fed ex, never reaching apex. Just like coca cola. Stop. You are inclined to make me rise an hour early just like day light savings time.

Chorus: (Do it now.) You and me baby, ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel. (Do it again now.) You and me baby, ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel. (Gettin' horny now.)

Love, the kind you clean up with a mop and bucket. The lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it. Heiroglyphics. Let me be Pacific, I want to be down in your south seas. But I've got this notion that the motion of your ocean means small craft advisories. So if I capsize on your thighs, high tide. B5, you sunk my battle ship. Please turn me on, I'm Mr. Coffee with an automatic drip. So show me yours, I'll show you mine. Tool time you'll love it just like Lyle. And then we'll do it doggy style so we can both watch x-files.

Chorus (x's 3)

Ha ha ha. *Snicker* Have you ever wondered...?

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=215848

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/wiltshire/3167526.stm

These are the kinds of articles I love to read. 300,000 years! That's bloody amazing.

To all of my kitty loving fools...erm, I meant friends. ;)

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=215177

I get annoyed pretty quickly when things in my life aren't going my way. I used to wonder why life has to be so hard, why can't things ever just be easy. Then I had a dream. In said dream this guy told me that when life is easy, you breeze through it, not remembering anything. But when life gets tough, and you've got to struggle for tomorrow, well that's when you're really alive. Those are the days that count the most. Knowing all of that, I'm stilled annoyed that my life is so tough right now. I just lost my best friend a couple of days ago. That's freaking tough. I feel like someone ran over my puppy, and I don't have anyone to talk to about it. Because he won't even talk to me anymore, he's avoiding me like the plague. Part of me is grateful because it would be hard to talk to him and not worry about when the next time I'd get cut off was. But the rest of me is wounded. *grumble* I miss my friend. (And I'm trying very hard not to sound too pathetic here.)

"What is love? Ask him who lives, what is life. Ask him who adores, what is God...Love is that powerful attraction towards all that we conceive, or fear, or hope beyond ourselves, when we find within our own thoughts the chasm of an insufficient void, and seek to awaken in all things that are, a community with what we experience within ourselves."
-Mary Shelley

I had a very interesting run in with a spider tonight, and my friends at FM chat wrote a few haikus about it.

Phy verus spider
She has a big can of RAID
Phy kills the spider

spider versus phy
weapons of mass destruction
who is the winner?

Virginian in peril
She has a big can of RAID
victorious phy

Hee hee hee. :D

I wrote my poem for the anthology today. At least, I think it's finished. I'd like to bounce it off some people and see what they think, but I'm pretty limited in the number of people that I know who know about poetry. Oh well. I'm more worried about my health at the moment. Last night I had a migrain headache and couldn't fall asleep. Today I'm having problems eating, or keeping down what I eat. Everything is making me nauseous. I'm not sure what's wrong with me. I don't have a raging fever, on the contrary, I'm freezing cold all over. I'm also pale as a ghost. But I'm more worried about keeping down my dinner. I ate two crab cakes, and was tired but feeling okay before I ate. Now I've got a bucket in front of me just waiting for them to come back up. Same thing happened after lunch, I ate some pasta and had to battle to keep it down. I'm hoping that I feel better by the time think tank comes around. I need some brainstorming help on my vampire trilogy. But at least I finished my poem, I think. *fingers crossed* I'm going to subscribe to the 'writer's digest' for a year. My mom got a copy in the mail by accident and I looked at it. It's a good magazine. It makes me want to write up a storm. And last night me and some friends started a multiple genre/mixed genre online crit cirlce and writing group. We're going to get three other people and get it going. All of the info will be posted at FM. I hope we get people we can trust and get to know. I think writing cirlcles are awesome. I've very excited to be a part of one. I'm off to find a blanket to wrap myself in, and kick around the internet for a while until think tank starts. And listen to my bodaceous tunes, of course.

What ever happened to the seperation of religion/state? Bush is at it again, creating more stink. Apparently he wants people to be discriminated against based on their religion, and via that, their sexuality when applying for certain jobs, and social services. Yuck.

http://www.southernvoice.com/2003/10-3/news/national/house.cfm

'I have been astonished that men could die martyrs for
their religion.
I have shuddered at it.
I shudder no more.
I could be martyr'd for my religion.
Love is my religion.
And I could die for that.
I could die for you.'
-John Keats

That's my new new quote on Forward Motion. I love Keats.

Moving on. Here's a little comic releif from Monty Python, supplied by my friend Ben. Thanks Ben, for everything.

Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis?
Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?
It's swell to have a stiffy.
It's divine to own a dick,
From the tiniest little tadger
To the world's biggest prick.
So, three cheers for your Willy or John Thomas.
Hooray for your one-eyed trouser snake,
Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend,
Your Percy, or your cock.
You can wrap it up in ribbons.
You can slip it in your sock,
But don't take it out in public,
Or they will stick you in the dock,
And you won't come back.

A clarification for a certain person: My 'shit on the shoe' comment was a sarcastic response to your 'friends' comment. I am a queen and a goddess, and I pity the man who EVER forgets it.

Hey, I'm only human. I make mistakes just like everyone else in this world. So I can admit it, I made a freaking doozy of a mistake. Ordinarily my heart and my gut don't let me down. And my faith has never let me down...until today. I took a monumental chance, a leap of faith, I trusted that something and someone good could actually come into my life without any strings attached. I let myself feel something I haven't felt in a long time and I had the balls to hope for something good in the future. And what happened? What always happens in my life? I got shat on. You'd think I'd get used to it, considering being shat on is the running theme in my life. But this particular shat stung more than most. Who know's maybe it was the timing, the situation, whatever. But I've moved on from hurt to pissed. Too bad God didn't make me a lesbian, I'd gladly swap teams right now. ALL MEN ARE THE SAME. All of them. No matter what one of them tells you ladies, don't beleive them, not for a millisecond. And don't beleive your heart or brain if either of them suggest anything with any man could ever possibly be real, possible, hopeful, or the like. Tell yourself to go fuck yourself. Well, you know what I mean. So I'm looking for the silver lining, and here it is...I've learned a valuable lesson. One of *the* most valuable ever. Men are slime. Don't trust them, or yourself around them. And no matter what you do, or think, under no circumstances open yourself up to them and try to be unequivocably honest with them. You may think I sound synical, but let me tell you how I know what I've just said is true. Because if you do that, open yourself, take a chance, and try to let something good happen, you're going to get screwed up the ass. Every time. BECAUSE ALL MEN ARE ALIKE. I say fuck them all, and I don't mean literally.

Want to know what a man's thinking? Check this out.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/HEALTH/10/01/men.brain.reut/index.html

I can't wait to read the book.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=213823

*snicker/evil grin*

My mom asked me to go on a walk with her tonight, and I thought 'oh great, we'll have an opportunity to do some catching up and I can finally talk to her about what's going on with me,' because I've been really depressed and antisocial lately. So we're walking, and I tried to tell her what was happening with me, in my head, and in my life. I started by trying to tell her the reason I don't like to go out is because I'm really nervous around people. What did she say? She told me that it wasn't true and she didn't want to talk about it. Just like that, the whole idea of talking to her about what was happening was out the window. I tried a couple of more times to let her know how I was feeling, but she ignored me or changed the subject. I got so frustrated with her that I started to get hornery. When that happened I just put as much distance between us as possible. It's a sad day when you realize you can't even talk to your own mom, or ask her for help. No wonder I'm so fucking depressed. And has she even talked to me once about how I'm doing or what I'm going through since my brother told her how depressed I am? Nope, not even a hint. Nothing. I don't get it, honestly. It's like to her, a good daughter is one she can forget about. So I'm going to stay down in the basement and hope she does (forget about me).

I just downloaded aol instant messanger. I'm going to give it a whirl, although I have certain doubts about it. If I start getting weird messages, emails, or other annoyances, my dislike for aol will be reaffirmed. Mwa ha ha ha. *evil grin* I'm in a funny mood. Too much energy, I suppose. What can a young woman do with too much time and energy? Get into trouble. No thank you, I'll stay right here and keep my feet on the ground. Or my ass in the chair, whatever the case may be.

If anyone needs a good laugh, and dislikes telemarketers as much as I do, then please proceed to the website I've listed below. I can gaurantee you with absolute certainty, you will not regret it.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=51270&perpage=50&pagenumber=1

I'm damned if I do, damned if I don't. Just for clarification, I moved to Virginia and back in with my mom and step-dad just over 2 weeks ago. I live in the basement, and rarely venture upstairs. The words have never been spoken, but I definetly get the feeling like I'm not wanted up there. And my mom has even said to my brother that I do a good job of staying out of the way, implying that it's best if I lurk for eternity in the basement. So nobody tells/asks me what needs to be/should be done upstairs. I've mowed the lawn, only to find out my step dad was pissy about me using the mower. I have in the past emptied/loaded/started the dishwasher if I noticed it needed it while I was up there. But I just asked my mom why my step dad doesn't like me, which he very obviously does not, and after defending him said that it was because he thinks I'm too messy when I go up there (which is barely ever) and when I'm up there I don't do enough around the house. I want a place of mine own so bad I could spit. But while I'm here all of this just makes me want to stay down here even more. I wish I had some magic trinket that would make them forget that I even exist. Because I feel like whether I'm breathing too much air or feeling too happy/sad, it just pisses them (especially him, my mom is cool) off. I'll admit freely to sucking at dealing with stress. So it's no wonder after this entire experience of being here for these two weeks that I feel like death. I've been going through some very serious shit, and nobody knows it except for my brother in wisconsin, because I called him for help. I know it just takes me getting a job, saving money, and getting the hell out of here to solve my problems. But I'm having a hard time doing the basic sort of every day things. I...just want to crawl under a rock and disappear. Or just fade away.

"Old Man River..."

What can I say? Nothing and everything has been going on in my life. I've made a serious dent in the number of boxes that I have left to unpack. Always pleasing to think about. It's been a real trip, deciding which toys to keep and which to throw away. I really want to hold on to my favorites from when I was young to give to my kids someday. In ten years I see myself sitting at my desk in my home office, writing my 20-somthing novel. I'll glance outside and see my horses playing in the pasture, and watch the ducks in the pond for a while. Then my husband will come in, bring me some tea, give me a kiss, and kiss my pregnant belly before he leaves me to my writing. *sigh* That dream gives me hope for the future. Not much else does these days.

A joke: Question: What is the best thing to do if you find an elephant in your bed?

Answer: Sleep somewhere else.

I just read the following article on CNN's website. According to their research, I should have a brash and gregarious personality because I can only sleep on my stomach my hands under my head. Apparently I'm part of only 6.5 percent of the population who sleep in that position.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/science/09/16/sleep.personality.reut/index.html

Read it, it's good for a laugh.

So we're a day and a half away from having a hurricane. I was in Floriday for 6 years and didn't see a hurricane. I've been in Virginia for 2 weeks, and WHAM! Here comes a doozy. Jeez. :)

I have been very busy ever since I arrived here, in Virginia. On Wednesday our things arrived from England. I had forgotten how much crap I left behind when I left for school. It's all here now. Talk about a blast from the past. My latest task is sorting through clothes and toys spanning from birth through to when I left for college. I'm such a pack rat, I'd like to keep a lot of it. But I'm strong-arming myself into throwing most of it away.

In the mean time I've become enamored of the Anita Blake series written by Laurell K. Hamilton. I can't do it justice trying to explain it here, so I'll leave everyone to there own devices in learning more about it. But I can't remember any other books having left me so hungry for more. I find myself lost in this alternate world with such live characters, I'm hungry for the next installment. When I start a book I can't stop reading it until I've finished it. Then for days afterwards my mind swims in the world and story I've just read. I've read 9 of the 11 completed books, the final 2 are on their way to me. Once I've finished reading the 11th, I plan on starting over on the 1st and doing it all over again. *Sigh* I wish my real life was half as interesting as the world in these stories. I'll have to work on it.

Mwa ha ha ha! I am besides myself with giddiness. Yeah! I have arrived, and now I'm finally back online. I've had to wait for over a week just to get a working phone line. And now that I've got one I can feel the creative writing juices coursing through my veins. I've had ups and downs since I arrived in old Virginia. I lost a credit card (somewhere between Florida and Virginia :rolleyes:), and I have a raging case of computer virus. But all of that aside I'm very excited to be here. The new house and neighborhood are gorgeous, my cousin and aunt live 10 minutes down the road, and today was a cool 65 degrees when I woke up. Ah, the good life. I've been slaving to get my things unpacked and organized. I have furniture and things coming in 2 weeks, so I can't get completely settled yet. But enough for now. I'll catch up more later. Off to see some friends...

They are on their way. My mother called and woke me up at 4:30 this afternoon. They were on the road and headed towards Richmond. Estimated time of arrival: 3:30 pm. I'm doing the last few laps of packing. I haven't touched the kitchen yet, so that'll take me all night. Good thing I'm nocturnal. I just wanted to drop a few lines here before I tear apart my computer. The next time I'll be online will be from my new home in old Virginia. I'm petrified, excited, impatient, and worn to the bone. This experience, overall, has been the hardest thing I can remember having to do. I'd say even harder than college, but then it's been awhile since I've been to college. I've got no time to spare, so I'm off to do some more packing. I can't wait until I'm there and settled. I'll finally get to relax.

My new blog template. Thanks to silverfire for designing my new and beautiful blog template. It's absolutely gorgeous!

What happened to the link?

Go here: http://www.cnn.com/2003/LAW/08/25/judge.sentenced.ap/index.html

This judge was convicted of offering lower sentences and prison terms to women defendents who had sex with him. I'm shaking my head in disgust.

The count down is ticking away. Tick, tick, tick. I can't beleive there's only 3 full days left for me to get ready. My mom and step-dad will be here friday and we will be loading the truck. So I need to be ready to go by Thurdsday night. I'm at the point where I just want to be there already.

I've got my short, 'The Heart of Amun' up on the roving crits board at FM writers. Now I need to go and do some crits for other people. I'm pretty excited about it. I feel like I've stumbled on this secret magical world at that website. Everyone is so sweet. There's this guy who's making a whole new blog template for me. And it's gorgeous! I feel like I should pay him or something. Hmm, I wonder if he'd let me.

My article is still in the planning phases. Tonight I'll hang out in chat and work on it. I'm always inspired when I'm in there because everyone else (in write only) is writing something as well. I wish we all lived on the same block. That would be interesting.

My mom told me she's looking to get comcast in virginia. I'm not sure what that is really. I hope it doesn't mean I'll lose my netzero email address. I really enjoy netzero.

Last night I ate chicken. Then I started to feel really sick. So I laid down and went to bed around 3:30am. When I woke up at 6:30am this morning, I still felt sick. But I was wide awake. So I climbed out of bed and did a lot of work on my website. I revamped my 'works in progress page,' changed and created a couple of backgrounds, changed a ton of fonts and colors, and added an entire new page with links to my favorite sites. To view my webpage, click on the link in the top right corner of the screen. I'm really proud of it, and think it's really coming together.

So last night/this morning I had the strangest dream. I was at my own wedding reception, although I don't remember seeing the groom. It was in a local pub, and everyone in the neighborhood was there. Everyone got along really well, and really enjoyed each other's company. I remember we had just built a house at the end of a street. The surrounding area was open grasslands for miles and miles. It was gorgeous. Overall a very nice dream.

Today I have a lot of shopping to do. I need supplies for this trip, and things for when I get to Virginia. In a moment I'm going to take the time to write out lists. I love lists. They calm me. ; )

I took the extension from the editor. Now I've got until September 8th to write the article. I'm going to do a satire on love. Beyond that I don't know the details. But at least it should be fun. They say to write what you know. I know nothing about love. :)

I keep shooting myself in the foot with this move. I was up all night working on my short story. It's nearly finished, and I'm very happy with it. You know it's a good story when, upon reading the story, you get jittery and nervous about what happens next. An especially good feeling when you're the one that wrote it. But beause I was up all night, I ended up falling asleep at 11am. I only just woke up at 8pm. I have accomplished nothing towards moving today. At this point, I really need every day I can get. But I'll pull it off. I don't have any other option.

I've realized why I sleep all day, and am awake all night. It's fascinating, really. My air conditioning works for shit during the day, so my apartment stays hot. I suffer through the heat. My body has ingeniously decided to sleep during the heat, and be awake when it's cooler at night. God, I love my body.

I feel like a large steaming pile of dung at the moment. I told my editor that I'm moving next week and wouldn't be able to get an article in before the deadline. I told her I'd make it up for the next issue. I just got an email from her offering me an extension. She said she really appreciates my contribution to the magazine. So even though I'm pulling my hair out trying to get all of my stuff ready, I still want to write something for her. Why do I feel like crap? Because I'm racking my brain and can't come up with any ideas on what to write. The theme is romantic love. What do I know about romantic love? Crap. That's what I know. Crap.

If anyone wants to see something funny and laugh their asses off, click on the link below.

http://www.shagrat.net/Html/cows.htm

Now I've seen it all !!

http://www.banburytoday.co.uk/ViewArticle2.aspx?SectionID=687&ArticleID=578635

A MAN claiming to be a vampire says he hopes to demolish the Banbury Cross to attract more creatures of the night to town. He wants people to vote for him in a forthcoming by-election.

What's next? A shrub for president? Oops, already been there.

http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/science/08/22/white.whale/index.html

Yeah! The whale that jumped onto the boat off New Zealand is alive and doing well. I had been worried that he wouldn't make it. What a beautiful albino.

I got a lot of packing done today. The finish line is in sight. I'm moving around fish, and cleaning out tanks at the moment. I'm in the planning phases for another article I need to write. The theme needs to be death/dying/rebirth. So far I'm stumped, but I'll figure something out. I'm to the point where I wish I was just in Virginia already. From now until then is the hard part. Argh.

I have given myself a couple of extra days to pack. It should have been easy to get it finished by tomorrow, but with all of my writing, and chatting, and web page work it just didn't happen. This is going to be short and sweet because I have a lot of work to do. When I think about the amount of work that I have to do I start to panick, so I'm not even going to talk about it. Today's the official 'paying for and owning the house' day. Congratulations to the new owners. I can't wait until I get there to see it. I still can't beleive that nobody's managed to send me not even one little picture. *sigh* I guess I'll have to wait. On that note, I've gotta go and get some stuff done.

I found this in a thread on the Straight Dope Message Board. Try it, it made me laugh. : )

While sitting at your desk, make clockwise circles with your right
foot (BY MOVING YOUR ANKLE...be sure you're moving it clockwise). While doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. What direction is your foot going in now?

I heard on the news today that California has had it's first fatal shark attack since 1994. http://www.foxreno.com/news/2419847/detail.html is a link to the news story. What amazes me the most was that this woman was wearing a wetsuit and fins, swimming 75 yards from shore, and swimming with seals. Apparently she did it regularily, but she must have known the danger she was putting herself in. From below she must have looked just like a seal. Apparently witnesses on the beach said they saw all of the seals scatter, and then a big fin in the water. I shudder to think about it.

Today I finally called all of my utilities and scheduled to have everything shut off for the move. I even transferred my cell phone number over to a virginian number. It's a bit early, but what the hell. I have a lot to do before I go, but I'm not going to worry about it. I'd rather be in a good mood. That's why I'm listening to Henri Salvadore right now. If you've never heard of him before, but like jazz, I highly recommend him. He's got a voice like silk, and sings mostly in french.

Oh what a beautiful morning...

I just spent nearly 12 hours talking in the fm chat rooms. I know, I know. It's embarassing, and slightly disturbed to spend that much time chatting online. But I couldn't help it. A friend helped me beef up a troubling character. I went on to write nearly a thousand word scene. I told a few ghost stories. I spent most of the evening chatting with a particularily good friend. What can I say? I have a warm glow. I don't think chatting all night is very good to do every night. But night's like last night (and this morning), when you're enjoying someone's company and don't want it to end, they're magic. I've got things to do today. Packing mainly. But I know it's going to be a good day. It already is.

Welcome to My World

My shark WIP is coming along nicely. Yesterday I wrote just over 1K of it. Afterwards some friends at fmwriters.com helped me brainstorm and plot a little bit on my next project. As of right now it's untitled. Today I've been packing more of my things. My plan is to finish packing by friday. A week from friday I am moving up north. While I don't look forward to the frigid winters, I do look forward to being near my family. That gives me three more days to pack, and a week to clean. I'm just waiting for the sky to start falling, the pipes to start bursting, and whatever else that can go wrong to do so. I've never had anything be easy or go as planned. Sooner than later I'll be in the muck of it. Today was my first day of having real moving anxiety. I'm afraid of the unknown. I'm a little sad to be leaving my very comfortable home here. I'm going to stay positive, and keep looking straight ahead. Maybe it was make the pending disasters seem tolerable.

Testing